Brush with Certain Death - A Tsunami Hits Australia

This morning, at 0640, there was a magnitude 8.1 earthquake registered in the Solomon Islands. Concern for the inhabitants of the Solomons and the three killed in the earthquake was fleeting, though. The earthquake had triggered a tsunami threatening the east coast of Australia.

Despite travel time for the tsunami being in the region of five hours, many Gladstone businesses were evacuated as soon as humanly possible. Delays were caused when local authorities had to find out precisely what a tsunami is. After several hours of research, one of the officers clicked on "Did you mean: tsunami" and Google offered the answers.

Until this time, it was assumed that Su Nahmi was an Al-Queda operative armed with a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Elsewhere in the country, other important steps were taken to prepare for the impending disaster.

At 0642, petrol prices in all areas north of Brisbane rose to $4.50 per litre. Real Estate agents jacked up the price of inland properties and changed their descriptions to include words like "beachfront" and "ocean views" and large chain supermarkets dramatically increased the cost of fruit grown in the danger areas. At opening time, Sydney supermarkets pricemarked bananas, mangoes and kiwifruit at record margins. New Zealand had to be at risk, too, right?

Heartened by this, the Australian Rugby Union sent the Wallabies to a training camp in western New South Wales, bet on Australia to win the World Cup and resubmitted their bid to host the cup in 2011.

Finally, a crew member from channel Nine's "A Current Affair" rang the offices of Seven's "Today Tonight" posing as a women's magazine editor. She told Seven staff that Schappelle Corby is, in fact, a man. Seven News immediately dispatched Anna Coren to Bali to get the scoop. Meanwhile, Nine sent a slew of reporters to North Queensland to stand outside flood-damaged houses and ask the tearful owners what it felt like to lose it everything.

US President, George W. Bush pre-recorded a message of condolence and dispatched 80,000 troops to find Su Nahmi and the Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Obviously, my entire town of Boyne Island was in peril. I gathered myself and considered the danger, the probability and the safe course of action. Then, I called my wife and told her to pack up the kids and drive west - and just keep driving.

Then I went down to the beach.

As I stood ankle deep in the water, I could see the tsunami as it rolled toward me in the distance. It was enormous! A wall of water a dozen metres high and a dozen miles away as it slowly came closer and closer. Then, I realised it wasn't that far away. It was right there in front of me!

The great tsunami crashed into my knees and rolled up a few feet past the high tide mark........

I really hope my wife has her phone turned on.